It’s one of those little things we all do, whether you admit it or not.
We say one thing, but we really mean another.
Let me give you some examples:
Your girlfriend gets off work, exhausted from a twelve-hour shift and only wanting to shower and crawl into bed. I brought her a doobie and a Tanqueray and tonic and off to slumberland she went.
I waited what I thought was an appropriate amount of time and when I was absolutely, positively, one-hundred percent positive to the very core of my soul that she was asleep, I slipped out the door without making a sound (or so I thought) and off to the “other woman’s” place I went.
I spent the next three hours knee-deep in a woman most men can only fantasize about or who must pay for the adventure for. In Las Vegas, newcomers to this town looking like Lara were probably in for a pretty fun ride.
It was the 80’s after all.
I came home at around four a.m. and stealthily made my way up the carpeted stairs of my condo to an awaiting warden.
Cool Hand Luke.
Busted.
Forget the fact that I smelled like the small intestines of a strange woman, covered up with a different perfume than my girlfriends,’ or that my shirt was inside-out.
She was wide awake and was ever since my Ninja-like escape was detected.
Waiting for me.
Just waiting.
And waiting…
Like when President Zelensky talks to Premier Putin.
He tells Putin: “I think we can work towards a peaceful accord for this conflict.”
What he MEANS to say is, “Look, you slimy little douchebag, withdraw all of your scum countrymen from Ukrainian soil or we will continue to embarass you and those inept soldiers you call an army until you do.”
This subject actually comes up in my book EMOTIONS: Not your Mama’s ABC’s!
“My situation is such that I am living in my parents’ guest room.”
What they MEAN to say (and this is a whole lot of people) is “The world I live in is so unstable and volatility and hatred are the norms. I don’t have the confidence in myself, my government, or those charged with protecting us to take any chances and venture out on my own.”
But I still don’t get it. We couldn’t wait to finish high school, because then… we were gone!
Just like an episode of Law and Order
