Do you feel lucky?
If so, why?
Do you have a talisman or symbol of some sort that you use to summon up an extra “edge” to ensure success?
How about a dance routine or soliloquy that you absolutely must perform pre-game or you risk pissing off the Sports Gods and dooming your teams’ chances at victory?
I never got the rabbit foot thing.
Why a rabbit foot anyway? There are hundreds of animals that are rabbit-size and their feet must be somewhat similar. And if the rabbit foot is such a great sign of luck, how does the rabbit whose foot you are carrying around feel about the whole matter? I bet he doesn’t feel too lucky.
I will tell you what is fucked up.
Wearing clothes and not removing them while a streak of any kind is going on.
What kind of bullshit is that?
Wearing the same sox for the duration of a sizeable winning streak is just sick as hell. When I was playing competitive baseball, my feet smelled so bad, the odor was fit for man nor beast.
After one practice.
I get wearing something that brings you luck (or all-importantly, you believe it brings you luck) but I also believe you wash it, dry it, and fold it before wearing it again for your next at-bat or game appearance.
Some people have lucky song playlists that they must listen to at designated pre, during, and post times and don’t even think of playing the songs out of order!
The antidote to all the Beats, crosses, kewpie dolls, banners, and other superstitions is to be a better team and play up to your potential. If you do that….game over.
Some assholes try to gain an illegal advantage to try and make a few bucks and they are losers who have no respect for neither themselves or the sanctity of sports or the purity of sportsmanship.
If you have to cheat to win, you can never win enough times to clean the slimy stench of interference off your face.
You should be neutered and disemboweled to teach you a badly needed lesson.
No chingas.
Today my Fighting Irish football team got their asses whipped by the Cincinnati Bearcats and I had my lucky national championship banner, my lucky sports shorts, my lucky jersey, my lucky crew sox, my lucky buttons, my lucky medallion, my lucky hat covered with all my lucky pins, my lucky program, my lucky jacket, my lucky watch, my lucky sweater, my lucky scarf, my lucky two-way sunglasses, my lucky pre-game Guinness and two lucky shots of Bushmills Reserve.
To top that off, I had a pre-game meal of Lucky Charms (magically delicious!).
I must admit I did the ultimate superstition: I prayed.
I prayed, as I always do, for no injuries and a spirited contest.
I leaned back, held my breath, closed my eyes, crossed my fingers and my eyes while hoping for the taste of sweet victory.
Didn’t matter.
They still kicked our asses.
Stay well.
Mark's Playhouse 