The Return of the Satin Latin

I left the hospital yesterday afternoon but not before I started walking my way out because it was taking too long for someone to bring me a wheelchair. Something about reducing the hospital’s liability. Sounded to me like they were just buying time. Time that I don’t have since this was my 23rd invasive surgery.

Of course, the Domestic Despot let me have it.

Now back at home with my wife and furry friends, I am ready to start this next chapter of my life.

I know my big brother probably wouldn’t endorse my plan to play an open mic gig tomorrow night at a place called the Plain Folks Café, but I have decided I won’t live the rest of my life in fear. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t want to die onstage, but if you compare it to dying in a hospital, it doesn’t look half bad at all.

I did have to clear it first with Karen, and she is behind me so depending on how many performers sign up to play, I will get either 3 or 4 songs to play. I am stoked to get back on the horse and kick some ass.

I will let you know how it went on Saturday.

They brought some crazy contraption into my room and finally I got an accurate weight taken. It is unbelievable that I have so much sex appeal packed into my 165 pounds.

One of the things that really stood out this time at the hospital, specifically the Cardiovascular ward, was that about 90% of the patients were drastically overweight. Now I am not a fat-hater because I was 280 pounds at one point in my life.

And I wasn’t any taller.

If you go to most of the restaurants we have seen, you will see many items on the menu that are either:

Smothered in gravy, breaded, deep fried, OR smothered in gravy, breaded, AND deep-fried.

“You’re killing me Smalls!”

Seriously, put down the fork and start working on that gut before you go from bad to worse.

Do not use the method I used to drop my extra weight.

It involved cocaine.

Lots of it.

Horrible way to drop 45 pounds in 60 days like I did and I am sure it fucked me up in some other way, so don’t use that method.

If you start to look at exercise as medicine, you will have a much easier time of it. It really IS a major part of achieving and maintaining good health. Every bit as vital as any medicines you must take.

I get that some people don’t want to go to a gym, lift weights, or jog to help them lose weight.

So plop your ass on your floor and do (or try to do) some sit-ups. It doesn’t cost an expensive gym membership.

Just time.

And isn’t that the whole point?

More time.

To love, to hug your kids or grand-kids, and to enjoy this beautiful planet of ours.

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: