Remakes

I won’t pursue this subject on any other level than motion pictures.

Music has so many remakes, but like with movies, most are stinko, or at least never come close to recapturing the magic with a sequel. Before I start getting into my personal favorites, let’s acknowledge that there is still one and only one movie whose sequel won the Best Picture Oscar as did the original.

The Godfather.

End of story.

The best.

I did not include several categories including any movie based on comic books although who doesn’t love Richie Rich or Dennis the Menace?

True Grit.

Who was the dumbass who came up with the idea to remake a classic replacing John Wayne, the most iconic American actor of all-time?

Bombo.

Alien, Back to the Future, and Rocky stand out as franchises with big success at the box-office. There is no disputing the power of Spielberg and George Lucas and it just seems like everything they produced became a part of our culture.

Psycho not so much. Couldn’t beat Anthony Perkins.

There just happens to be a short list of movies that can never be remade because no one in the thinking world would ever go to see them.

Babe. (the one with the very charismatic pig)

Any Hepburn-Tracy movie.

Chemistry.

Cleopatra. Liz Taylor in her prime.

Hello!

Say no more.

You cannot deny the lasting power of the Planet of the Apes franchise, one of the very first. When I want to endear myself to Karen I call her Zira, after Kim Hunter’s simian portrayal of Doctor Zira.

I think there is enough acting talent to pull off a remake of Doctor Zhivago. Omar Sharif was never characterized as a great actor and I think Julie Christie’s high-school makeup-smeared tears could be replicated very easily.

How about Britney Spears?

You can replace Heston in Moses, The Ten Commandments or even Ben-Hur, but you cannot even think of replacing him in Soylent Green.

I am confusing myself because I am actually OK with sequels as a logical progression of the plot, it is the remake of movies I do not care for. For example, there is only one Dolly.

Streisand.

Carol Channing’s voice and face scare me.

As Christmas approaches, I see there is yet another yuletide dumbass.

I’ve got two words for you.

McCauley Culkin.

End of story.

And filmmakers take note: if you are remaking Total Recall, at least cast someone somewhat close in stature. Tell you what, put Colin Farrell side-by-side with Arnold Schwarzenegger and he will start to resemble what comes out of Arnold during a bowel movement.

This year I am going to have to online Christmas as the painters start tomorrow. Santa has already sent us an Oculus 2.

I will wait to Christmas to let you know how that goes. I might have to have Karen act as my safety net by catching me as I understand some of the programs can be pretty disorienting.

Now’s her chance.

Can’t wait.

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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