I don’t get it, never have for that matter.

Why smoke tobacco?

I totally understand smoking marijuana; it has medicinal properties that I can personally attest to, with no resultant deaths.

I understand it is very addicting. It definitely contributed to my own mother’s early death. That point was driven home when one of my mother’s dying requests was for me to take her out of the hospital and home to her back yard garden where she could smoke one last cigarette.

Pancreatic and lung cancer took her two days later.

I tried one drag of a cigarette in 1966. I was at a junior-high school party and there was a small group of kids outside smoking. Pot wasn’t a thing (yet), but girls were very much my focus and there was one of the best-looking girls in school, April Davis, included with the smokers.

I ambled up alongside her and very coolly (as cool as a twelve year-old kid can be) asked if I could “bum a smoke.”

“Sure, she said and handed me a Marlboro. She lit me up and I barely tasted the smoke hit my throat before starting in on the most embarrassing coughing jag ever. When I finally stopped, April commented “I didn’t think you smoked.”

“What gave me away?” I asked through watery eyes.

She asked, “Why did you try smoking if you don’t smoke?”

I sheepishly replied, “I wanted to meet and get to know you and I thought I would have a better chance if I smoked with you.”

What a dumbass.

She laughed and said “You don’t have to smoke. I’d love to get to know you.”

I never touched a cigarette since.

Long story short, we lasted for one date before I realized I just couldn’t be with someone who smoked. I am sure it cost me a lot of good people that I would have otherwise met, but I honestly think I have a resentment towards the smoking of tobacco because of my mom’s early departure.  Memories of being stuck in the back seat of the family car with my Mom and Step-Dad chain smoking the day away. Or the ashtray the size of a small swimming pool overstuffed with cigarette butts on the living room table.

Memories of mom lying there…

If it is just smoking you like, I will gladly roll you one (COVID Weed Protocol) of your own.

A buddy of mine came up to me once and asked, “How much money do you think you have spent on marijuana?” Now keep in mind this was all the way back when I was still a young buck of 28 working full-time as a chef, and marijuana was NOT legal, and NOT accessible without money (what’s new there?).

As I calculated the number in my head, I realized two things.

1—I don’t have any possible way of figuring out my Net Weed Usage or NWU. This is because I once FOUND 25 pounds of killer weed. That is a story for another day.

2—One of the greatest life skills I ever learned was how to grow kickass weed.

So smoke up, just not tobacco. You’ll live longer and smell better.

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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