The audio book excerpt from my book Emotions: Not your Mama’s ABC’s! this week is for two short-short stories I included under the letter “E.” The first is called Perfect Fit and the other is titled Point of View.
I recounted a story of THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME in a previous blogpost called Payback, but a close second to that foolish episode was when I accidentally sent the wrong letter to the wrong girlfriend. I was Charles Romance again, but as usual, I turned out to be Mr. Dumbass. I was off to college and I guess I mismanaged the feelings of some very nice girls. Oh. That’s total bullshit. Of course I “mismanaged their feelings,” I was a piece of shit for doing it. In hindsight, I could say quite neatly that I had “merely forgotten to break up with them,” but that sounds extremely lame even to me. When I received a letter back from my girlfriend in Massachusetts, I eagerly opened it. She had enclosed the letter I had intended to send to my girlfriend in California.
She didn’t even include a written goodbye.
Recipe for Disaster
1 gorgeous auburn-haired girl
1 gorgeous blonde-haired girl
1 Salty Mexican
Lack of Respect
Mix all ingredients.
End result will be total humiliation.
Oh yeah, sprinkle with weed because I HAD to be stoned if I sent the wrong letter to the wrong girl. I definitely know that.
As far as being economical, unless you have full coffers and a steady stream of refilling such, the rest of us need to save a few bucks on occasion.
PS: Check out my website marksplayhouse.com when you get a chance.