Now that I am a retiree I look at the statistics for people filing in the United States for unemployment benefits is somewhere around 200,000 to 250,000 per week.
Is it me, or does that number seem high to you?
I know, huh?
And political analysts refer to it as a “sturdy” labor market.
Going to Florida’s magical Disney World, especially for your first visit, is a childhood memory that is not forgotten. Neither is going to Florida’s magical Disney World, but watching Dad get arrested for drunk driving and all that ensued afterwards, which I am sure had no rides or amusements of any kind.
Even when I was going through the worst of it: ignominiously leaving the glitzy city of Las Vegas in the dead of night after completely draining every dollar from my bank account and every ounce of self-respect I had left and slunk off to Ohio.
Even when I was getting DUI’s like speeding tickets and not bad enough being drunk, on any given happenstance behind the wheel, driving could be affected by alcohol (a given, a constant) and either one or a combination of quaaludes, LSD, cocaine, Sherman Stick Angel Dust, MDA, and just about anything except speed or needles.
Every day.
I can’t count the times I have offered thanks to God for not allowing me to have caused physical injury or death to someone.
Don’t do it.
Not cool.
I am awaiting a call from my orthopedic surgeon who will be calling me to schedule an above the knee amputation of my left leg.
If you have read a few of my blogs you know I am not real happy about this.
BUT.
After seventy years spent on planet Earth, I have learned two things:
1: No matter how good you have it or think you have it, there is ALWAYS someone who has it better.
2: No matter how bad you have it or think you have it, there is ALWAYS someone who has it worse,
So I will start looking at prosthetics that have a knee joint. As stubborn as I am, as soon as I get the green light I will start working to first, return to the stage, and second, get my clubs out and go golfing.
I’m not done yet.
I don’t usually do many movie reviews and I think it is because I watch (or don’t watch) so much of the shite that exists on the movie streaming services. But I am a big fan of writing and shock endings (think Chernobyl Diaries) and the movie Nowhere gets my kudos for writing and the unbelievable baby birth scene, but one plot twist after another….Wow!
Speaking of Disneyland (we weren’t but we are now) I remember my first visit to the Magic Kingdom in the very first years of their opening. Check out this short story from my book Emotional Rollercoaster available on Kindle.
Amazon
By Mark Diaz
Our guide was Tom Blevins, an absolute rock of a man. Forty years old, but his body looked more like it belonged to a man half his age. Not an ounce of visible body fat with huge, muscular arms and a khaki shirt that bulged with his massive chest as he shouted “There! On the port side! Hands inside the craft. Now!”
We were treated to a sight that is etched into my memory to this very day, some fifty-seven years later. The first hippo glided through the murky river water with its mouth wide open, revealing rows of uneven, discolored teeth which I had no doubt could have eaten me alive in one gulp. As the animal’s mouth closed, he submerged, and little trails of air bubbles percolated from his flared gray nostrils. He seemed to float away from the tramp steamer, its eyes at half-mast. But he did not look sleepy to me. I was petrified, and my little fingers were clutched in a death-grip around my father’s rough hand.
“It’s OK son, he assured me. You’re safe. Just do what the man says and you’ll be fine.”
No sooner had the first hippo appeared, when another equally massive, yet strangely graceful Hippopotamus amphibius took its place and another and another. I got the panicky feeling they were closing in on our relatively small watercraft. I instinctively eased myself toward the bleached wooden bench in the center of our river boat. I was even more frightened as our guide fired two warning shots into the air to deter our guests from swimming any closer to us. I just knew I was going to die.
“No worries folks, Tom shouted above the trumpeting animals. “They are just singing.”
Right, I thought. Singing about their impending meal of a boatful of human flesh.
“There on the port side! Can you see the tigers sunning themselves by the riverside?” Tom was pointing as I sat frozen in fear. Our fearless guide tried making what I’m sure he thought were amusing anecdotes, but I was not taking my eyes off the tigers languishing in the noon day sun. They definitely looked hungry to me.
As if reading my mind, or more precisely, my petrified stare, Tom assured me “No worries little mate, the tigers won’t come out to us.”
I didn’t believe him for one second.
I couldn’t have been more thankful as the boat winded away through the lush Amazon when I heard Tom give the orders “Hands out of the water! Keep your arms and hands in the boat!”
A giant colorful snake of some sort twisted its massive body around an overhanging tree limb and flicked his blood-red tongue at us. I watched in silent terror as the hungry piranha approached us. I almost fell into unconsciousness as my father cradled me and the rest is just a blur until we approached the wooden dock. I had never been so relieved in my young life to reach land and as I looked back at what was now a lush, benign landscape with calm, green waters, I could hear:
“Thank you for joining us on the Jungle Cruise today folks, enjoy the rest of your day here at Disneyland, the Happiest Place on Earth.”
***
Stay well.
