I was curious as to why I seemed to have stopped snoring as a regular part of my sleep pattern?
Evidently (no backing medical evidence) it seems that since the issues with my left leg, up to and through the 13 surgeries I endured, I started dropping weight. When the smoke had finally cleared and my beautiful lower leg was sitting in some medical waste dump, I had dropped 35 pounds.
I don’t snore anymore.
This was a surprise to me. I had thought that obesity caused vascular issues, heart disease, and other major health problems, but I had no idea it could contribute to snoring. This all came about as I was thinking about my reckless past (aka my non-existence according to the Domestic Despot) where I would end up spending the night with strangers. I was wondering why on earth they would put up with my snoring.
Because when I did snore, I would rattle the rafters it was so loud.
I must have been an incredible lover.
Or I was just too big to move.
I was researching the reasons that people snore and it appears the same things preventing a normal healthy life are all the usual suspects:
Getting enough sleep.
I guess if you want to latch on the most reasonable theory, snoring is caused by extra neck weight and fat. Something to due with restricting your air passageway and vibrating fatty tissues.
So I guess I wasn’t snoring in all those strange beds after all. That kills my theory that snoring was the reason for not producing longer relationships with women.
They must have had other problems.
Sometimes I will dream that I am snoring, but I don’t know how to make sure without waking up and I think I won’t be snoring by that time so…These are the nutty thoughts that go through my brain after I wake up. On this particular morning, however, I woke up after playing 18 holes yesterday. I was sacked out and today I’m once again, ready to rock. And on top of that, I have this crazy-potent Indica strain and it is the best for coming up with crazy shit to write in my blogposts. It is called AMF OG and it is lights-out if you are a newbie. You will sleep the sleep of an infant and dream the dreams of a grandfather after only a couple hits. I had not heard of this strain before so I asked the kid at the dispensary counter and he pulled me aside to inform me the full name of the strain was Adios motherfucker OG.
It was a gorgeous day and I broke a hundred on the course, a mildly challenging one at that.
On the 14th hole.
But you will never hear me complain about ANYTHING on a golf course.
I’ll be back to exact revenge on that course before I leave the state.
So you can eat small, sensible portions of healthy foods, never smoke anything (even pot!), refrain from delicious alcoholic concoctions, work out daily like a maniac, and of course, you will sleep well.
But you won’t have any fun.