Faster Food

I have been living on fast food for the past six weeks. I have eaten more burgers, fries, etc. in that time than I did in my entire life except high school, when I would eat about 8 Whoppers before and after football practice.

And then go home and eat dinner with the family.

That was way back when that Arby’s really DID have the meats and not that preservative-laden colored shaved horseshit they have the audacity to call roast beef. They used to roast their own bottom rounds every day in their stores. You could smell the juicy beef until they had to cook off more.

Real roast beef.

I honestly thought they were going to put McDonald’s out of business.

Somewhere along the line, someone listened to some cheap-ass idiot who thought of replacing the REAL roast beef with one that did not require Alto-shams to slow-cook them in their own juices, and did not require an extra person who actually knew how to cook in the kitchen.

All this money to save while bastardizing the product and subjugating it to just another wannabe in the fast food arena.

Just to save a few pennies.


I wouldn’t eat at Arby’s even if you paid me to do so. I’d just as soon stick my finger far enough down my throat to achieve the same reflex I get when I even smell Arby’s.

No thank you.

Burger King still sells a decent burger, and I can only eat one now. The fries are just OK. Actually, every French fry made in fast food are McDonald’s wannabes. While the Big Mac is a decent burger if you happen to get one made fresh, fries are still The King at Mickey D’s.

It is different how tastes change across state lines.

We used to have a Chick-Fil-A right across the street from our subdivision in Phoenix and there might get up to three cars in line for their food. I can honestly say I have never eaten any product at a Chick Fil-A. Their commercials are kind of hit and miss, and all I know of them are they make chicken biscuits which is deep fried breaded chicken “parts” on a biscuit with honey butter.

(Retching sound in background).

No thank you. It sounds like the absolute worst thing you can put in your mouth (ex-girlfriends excluded).

And you know what?

On a main street very near the world-famous King’s Island Amusement Park where every fast food franchise has a unit, the busiest of all of them is….


Chick Fil-A.

I’m not kidding.

There are three drive-thru lanes that spill out onto local roads while nearly every other unit, including the Golden Arches, struggle to have two lanes half-full.

Karen thinks they are putting some sort of addictive ingredient in their food.

If they are, it’s working.


No matter how much we wish people wouldn’t kill themselves and their children with fast food, it ain’t gonna happen.

Cheap and fast (ex-girlfriends excluded).

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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