The Envelope Please…

The award for luckiest dumbass of the millennium has to go to the knucklehead who “fell” from the Carnival Cruise Line ship into the Gulf of Mexico. He spent fifteen hours in the warm, shark infested waters before being found and rescued. The motive is still under question, as a spokesperson for the cruise linesContinue reading “The Envelope Please…”

Smarty Pants

I’ve always been too damn smart for my own good. I admit it. Not proud of it, either. As soon as I was able to enunciate, my big brother would have me read aloud every single word of the “Acknowledgements” of one of his high-school level books, even the word “Acknowledgements.” Then he would makeContinue reading “Smarty Pants”

Stay With Me Now

No question that I am, and always have been a big dog lover starting with our family pets to our two Cocker Spaniel brothers tearing through the house tonight. I am seeing far too many stories of children and adults being killed by dogs. Before I go any further in my own thought process, IContinue reading “Stay With Me Now”

Wacky World

A British teacher had an affair with his student, married her, and had two children with her. So what was his punishment for what in America might be considered felony charges? Well, he faced no jail time. He paid no fines. His name was removed from the Teaching Registry. Ouch. Hard cheese. His ass wouldContinue reading “Wacky World”

Oh Brother!

Are you fucking kidding me? Psilocybin mushrooms temporarily cure depression. No shit. It took what, a half a century and probably millions, if not hundreds of millions of dollars, and the best your scientific minds could come up with is that mushrooms temporarily cure depression? All you would have had to do, to spare yourselfContinue reading “Oh Brother!”

Heartbreak

I don’t like that word. Your heart does not get broken, per se, when a loved one passes into the next sphere of existence. Broken implies something that needs to be repaired, but your heart will carry the deep hurt of loss until you pass. You can’t fix it. Before I get going, check outContinue reading “Heartbreak”

It’s Happening Folks

Whether we want it or not, one of the great rivers of the world, the Mighty Mississippi River, is drying up. Believe it. But there’s no global warming. Right. We have seen smaller lakes (Lake Meade outside Las Vegas comes to mind) and rivers start to disappear, but this river is crucial to our country.Continue reading “It’s Happening Folks”

Shaking My Head

An entire family of four from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan have gone missing. In a case that could very well have come from a TV crime show, and I would know, I’ve seen a few of ‘em, this is scary shit. The family left home without taking or caring for their pets. They leftContinue reading “Shaking My Head”

Cue Ball Side Pocket

Can you believe the stones on that hairless dipshit of a manager for Manchester United? He fired Ronaldo, the greatest striker the world has ever seen. What has he accomplished in football? So he’s won a few titles. In Amsterdam. Big fucking deal. My beloved Cocker Spaniel Bruiser, who is licking his balls right nowContinue reading “Cue Ball Side Pocket”

Board Games

I didn’t talk to my stepfather for two weeks because he beat me in chess one time. It had taken me years to get to the point where I could finally beat him and like the terrible winner I was, I didn’t let a day go by without reminding him who was the chess masterContinue reading “Board Games”