I don’t eat nearly as much as I used to anymore. I’m just not as hungry as I used to be. Oh, every so often I will overindulge with a potent indica strain and then I will put on the feedbag. And I am always amazed at how delicious everything tastes, and how cool the lights look, and how trippy the music sounds. After only a couple bowls.


I have never been hungry for a lack of money or food.

Some of the best food I ate was free. I remember when we lived in a small Japanese farming village, my best friend and I would head out to the cornfields and the potato fields. He would bring salt and pepper shakers from his house and I would supply the potato peeler.

We had it down to a science.

Our tactical plan to avoid detection was simple and brilliant. We would crawl on our stomachs from the shelter of the cornfields and inch our way to the potato field. Once there, our hands were as limber and adept as marsupials. We would dig up two potatoes (they were pretty big ones, too) and then crawl back to the hidden safety of the corn stalks.

Once we found a suitable spot we would grab a couple ears of corn from the tall green stalks. After we peeled the spuds and cleaned the cobs, it was time to munch out.

Raw corn and raw potatoes.


It bums me out when I think that there are hungry men, women, and children that die every day because they do not have access to adequate safe food and water.

In this day and age.

I mean Professor Dipshit Bezos: Give away a small portion of the riches you earned from fucking people over and trying to monopolize the world retail market. Quit showing the world you are just a stupid kid at heart with billion-dollar toys. I can tell you never cracked your World Geography book in high school. If you did, you would know about this little place called China.

There’s my little mini-rant on Amazon. Just don’t get me started.

I don’t even use the term “I’m starving” anymore, even though it innocently alludes to being very hungry, nothing more.

Do not get me started on the Romanesque food-eating (gorging) events such as Nathan’s Hot Dog Contest. In the days of Caligula, at least they were civilized enough to provide a vomiter to keep the gluttonous participants continuing with empty stomachs.

Now The Hunger Games? Jennifer Lawrence?

I’m all ears.

When I was a fat chef, I would eat a 10 oz. filet with Bearnaise, split in half and stuffed with King Crab meat, Jumbo Prawns and Sea Scallops, a Wild Mushroom Melangee in Puff Pastry on Beurre Rouge, with a Lobster Terrine. At least a half baguette with Devonshire Creamery Butter, a side of heavy whipping cream, garlic and egg yok smothered with three Italian cheeses that goes by the name of Fettucine Alfredo, six Oysters Rockefeller with Hollandaise, and a selection from the pastry chef’s cart.

Drinking like a fish the whole time I ended up going home and going to bed.

Very healthy (don’t do it).

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: