Corny

Ever since we moved to southern Ohio, I am turning into a real cornball.

I leave my left arm free when I slowly drive through my neighborhood. So I can do the “neighbor wave” in case one of my peeps throw me a wave as I make it home.

I eat at Bob Evans sometimes.

I stop almost at every single MetroPark and I have yet to be disappointed.

I occasionally watch Fox News.

Up until I reinjured my knee I was all set to attend a Pumpkin Patch Party. Going out into a field to pick out that special pumpkin for the holiday, taking a bonafide hayride in a rickety old wagon, drinking warm apple cider and munching on apple cider donuts.

Corneee!

I can’t get the vision of a fresh cherry coffee cake from Graeter’s out of my mind as I bite into a bland English muffin.

I dig pastoral scenery.

Shades of green everywhere you turn your head.

Horses.

Crops.

Mansions.

Lean-to’s.

Bad and sometimes, NO cell phone reception.

Low or NO internet connection.

I have seen at least fifty country bars where I could very easily imagine my bowels eviscerated and my time on Earth terminated, but the same can be said of any square mile of any large city in America. Another indicator?

There are WAY MORE churches than medical marijuana dispensaries.

I am in the vast minority of people of color.

I fear not.

God will take me when He (or She) is good and ready.

You can’t go through this life afraid of the things that you have no control over. I mean, I am sixty-seven years old, and I just took a guitar lesson last week. I have every intention of becoming a badass blues lead-guitar player. My voice has kept me in gigs, but, but I am not going to be satisfied with being entertaining; I want to make people do the double-take.

If you know me, you already know it is on my horizon.

I am also reaching out tomorrow to local theater groups in an effort to rekindle the acting fever I caught briefly in the eighties. Not all roles call for young, able-bodied individuals; I can play the part of an old buzzard and I can knock it out of the park.

I checked on my new internet provider’s site, and I have ensured we will have all the corny Thanksgiving and Christmas movie channels.

I just have to find the corny Christmas music channels which I have to wait for Karen the Domestic Despot to approve and allow me to play.

See, I would play Christmas music and movies all-year round if someone (Karen) would allow it.

Making someone wait until YOU want to allow certain music to be played is not only rude, it reeks of insensitivity, domineering behaviour, and it denies the basic freedom to allow someone the Joy of the Season. Yes it is all these things, and you can add one more adjective…

It’s corny.

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: