The Best Advice I Never Took

During my infamous hot streak in the casinos of Las Vegas in 1977, I went on an unheard of four month winning streak that defied all odds. I mean I had been hot on a couple of occasions before and I pocketed a few hundred bucks along the way, but this was something altogether different.

I couldn’t lose if I tried.

And I tried.

I actually hit a couple sizeable bets at the Stardust Sports Book betting on horses, and I never play the ponies.

Cocky, and totally full of shit, I thought I was so cool because I listed my occupation as “gambler” on a bank loan application.

And got approved.

You see I had a six-month verifiable history of making money at the tables and I had an IRS 1040 form which you must file when winning big.

So one Saturday night, I am standing outside under the large lighted entrance lights of the old MGM Grand and amidst all the high rollers and limousines, tuxedos, designer gowns, and the general glamour of Las Vegas, walked Anthony Caesar. His name reflected the main characters in William Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar.

If you had the time and patience, he would struggle through a very bad stuttering issue to tell you the story of his name.

I loved the old guy.

It was like he was the “after” picture of the wide-eyed young man with wide eyes and a self-destructive jones going on a winning streak (sound familiar?)

He was sitting on one of the Metro bus benches, pulling on a pint of Crown which he kept in a brown paper bag in his oversized pants pocket. AC was always happy and perpetually wore a smile as big as Texas, which is where he hailed from.

He was once an attorney of all things.

I asked him “AC what is the secret to making it in this place?”

“Two things,” he said as he belched loudly.

“First, always tip the dealers, even when you lose. When you budget your money for a night of gambling, save a decent tip in your “don’t touch” funds. The dealer is not a reason you will win or lose, you’re gambling for Christsakes, but they are still providing the service of  shuffling and processing your bets. Besides, you get to sit, drink free cocktails, and stare at a beautiful set of artificially enhanced tits, win or lose.”

“You said there were two things,” I corrected.

“Secondly, don’t get too full of yourself.” Anthony was draining the last of the booze in his bottle. It was vertical and he was trying to tap out the last stubborn drops of his liquor.

I already had the tipping thing down and I was generous in the casinos which I considered just big brightly-lit adult playgrounds.

But I was falling way short in the second area.

It was too late.

I was already full of myself.

Karen is still waiting for me to stop.

Good luck with that.

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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