Bats and Cats

I am not a big fan of bats.

Disease-carrying rodents that I have encountered mainly in caves I have visited, and I recall seeing several in Louisiana, Texas, and Oklahoma. Oh yeah, I was swarmed by bats on an Alabama golf course once.

Freaky.

Romancing the bat.

The Batman movies never approximated the romance associated with the cat.

Two words for you.

Halle Berry.

Bats are important in baseball. When I was in Little League, the bat I used was a 28 oz. Louisville Slugger. Then I started to lift weights and naturally got bigger. Combined with a beef-heavy diet, I had to go up in weight to a 32 oz. bat. The very first pitch in my very first game using the bigger bat was sent screaming high up into the Louisiana night.

It was the first, and only over-the-fence homerun I ever hit.

But where did the widely-used expression bat-shit crazy come from? I mean I sort of understand bat-crazy, but where does the poop come into the equation?

I had a Catholic school nun who used to carry around a miniature Louisville Slugger. If you did not maintain your calm, the knuckles on both of your hands would feel it, and if necessary, you would get a finishing knock on the head.

It was a cute little replica, but it was about two pounds and it left you with bad thoughts directed towards the batter.

I’ll bet my old 28 oz. bat looks like a miniature to the big boys (aka cheating steroids users).

And why are people driven batty? Why not hatty?

And how about the truly bad cinema that Batman movies are? Talk about some ham acting from grossly overpaid stars.

Talk about Virginia smoked.

Now, as previously mentioned, Catwoman works.

On all levels.

Karen just called me a pig.

Now, if you want to drive yourself hatty, just turn on the original Batman TV series (in color!). Classic Shakespearean acting with brilliant repartee between Adam West and his sidekick Burt Ward.

And let’s talk special effects. How about the pull-yourself-up-by-the-rope scenes where the crimefighters would stop to banter with a resident or two on their way up the side of an apartment building?

Lame.

Pan to the scene where Halle, er Catwoman, is strutting on a rooftop in skin-tight leather pants and stilettos.

Hello!

That sweat has to go somewhere…

Catwoman on the TV show was played by Julie Newmar, a very sexy feline portrayal as I recall.

But she’s no Halle Berry.

“I knew Jack Kennedy sir, and you’re no Jack Kennedy.”

And the Batmobile, really? It is a comic book ride.

I can’t even imagine Vin Diesel looking cool in it.

I could probably pull it off.

Wherever you are, make someone’s day by merely smiling at them for no reason. Something like a we’re-all-in-this-together smile.

Won’t cost you a thing and you’ll feel better.

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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