I am very trustworthy.


I wasn’t always.

In one of the most embarrassing moments of my high school years, I displayed untrustworthy behavior of the highest order.

The high school elections for class officers were going to be held on Friday and I wasn’t even on the ballot. I was way too cool to be a nerdy class officer, and I would never run in a million years.

Until I met Shawna.

On the night before the deadline to enter your name to be placed on the ballot, I went to a party and started up a conversation with this girl with the most awesome blue-gray eyes and long red hair.

That should have been my first warning.

Red hair.

Jk, I love redheads.

Shawna was a junior, two years older than I, but we hit it off fantastically. She was smart, funny, and really had a sense of stewardship for the planet, long before that was even a thing.

I fell like a ton of bricks.

She was passionate about change and magically, instantaneously, I became passionate about change.

The next day I went into school and had a brainstorm.

Why not me?

Treasurer of the Student Body.

The election candidates were set to give their speeches at noon in the Assembly Hall.

I walked into the office of the teacher who was in charge of the elections. I told him that I wanted to run for Treasurer and I wanted to give a speech today.

He smiled, and said “Mark, the other candidates have been actively campaigning for the last three weeks. Posters, surveys, promises, whatever. Do you actually think you can mount any sort of candidacy in one day?

He would not have even asked that question of me if he had seen the look in Shawna’s eyes when I told her I was running for Student Body Treasurer.

I left the teacher’s office and went to the library to prepare my speech.

I told my buddies what I had done, every single one of them knew of Shawna and totally understood my actions.

I was the very last candidate to speak.

“Who am I? I’m sure there are many of you asking that question. No, you did not see my name on any election posters and I did not actively campaign for the position. So why should you listen to me now?


That’s why.

You can cast your vote for the coolest poster or most colorful campaign being waged, or you can vote for me.

Someone you can trust.”

Not the biggest round of applause, but I had their attention.

I continued.

“With the help and guidance of the Senior class (at that moment, the entire Senior class stood up and roared their approval)…….I seized the opportunity as it was sitting up like a golf ball in short grass….

I will also need the wisdom of the Junior class….(the entire Junior class arose, hooting and hollering)….

After giving the Freshmen and Sophomores their due, it was in the bag.

I won in a landslide, despite the shortest campaign in political history.

Six months later I would resign in shame, after spending our one-hundred dollar petty cash fund on a British prostitute.


Check out this song:

Where Do You Go To My Lovely?

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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