Canes

Walking sticks, whatever.

Now that I am a bona fide cane-carrier on occasion when my leg is sore, I can speak with some knowledge on this subject, unlike most everything else I talk about.

I have this cool walking stick with a compass on top. It is trimmed in gold and is actually pretty badass, except it is a bit uncomfortable, so I use the cheap black ones with the foam handles. They work just fine and I can easily navigate with them.

My problem, one of a myriad of problems, is that I am always leaving my cane at restaurants, or basically wherever I go. I have been pretty lucky retrieving the lost ones, though I can’t imagine someone taking a cane that wasn’t theirs unless they were a very fucked-up individual. If they have a relative who needs a cane, all they have to do is ask and I’ll give them one of my black ones.

Lame.

Double entendre.

For the longest time my macho Mexican male ego prohibited me from using it outside of my own house, and sometimes the yard.

What a dumbass.

The cane with the compass on top would take someone out if I hit their melon in full swing. It is very heavy.

Listen to me going all Steed with my walking stick.

Festus could have, and should have used a cane instead of dragging his old dead leg around in Gunsmoke.

I think my problem with canes is you have to use them correctly to not look like some feeble person.

If you are feeble, ask me; I’ll go get your groceries for you.

Just ask.

That is so ironic that I would be the person telling you to ask for help when I would have rather cut off my own head than borrow money. For me, asking for help was anathema.

From family?

Especially not from family.

Mr. Magoo looked sporty with his cane, but no one should bend over when you are walking with a cane.

Mr. Peanut uses his cane as a pointer, too.

A cane definitely goes with a cape.

Why did capes go away?

I think you look cool in a cape, especially with an ornate walking stick to go with it, dare I say it?.

Pimp.

Now, one thing I will not do is use my walker outside of the house. Only in the event my leg is too sore and a cane doesn’t give me the support I need, and when it gets like that, I am off of it getting some Laz-E-Boy time.

I do appreciate the electric carts that are sometimes available at some of the big box stores, but you can bet on it, that as soon as I am at the farthest point from the entrance where I came in from, the cart will die, leaving me to hobble my ass back to my car. (Of course I just leave all my purchases-to-be in the cart for some stock person to deal with).

I showed them (but I didn’t get the stuff I needed).

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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