“X” Marks the Spot

In my book Emotions: Not your Mama’s ABC’s!, I list emotions under every letter of the alphabet. Check out my preface and the short story illustrating the letter “X”: X Since I live in one of the nation’s driest areas (Phoenix, Arizona), my first instinct under this difficult heading was xeric, or pertaining to dryContinue reading ““X” Marks the Spot”

I Totally Get It

I’m an asshole. And the older I get, the less patient I am becoming. I don’t like it. I am not a rude, intrusive person by nature, but I think my condition is caused by my perception of time. There isn’t much more of it left after a massive heart attack, a leg amputation, andContinue reading “I Totally Get It”

A Great Big Hit

from my bong goes to: Aaron Judge, the new York Yankee who will set the Major League Baseball record with only a couple more home runs. He might have even done it and I haven’t seen the news yet tonight. He’s also the first selection because he probably would refuse the hit, leaving more forContinue reading “A Great Big Hit”

You Cannot Be Serious!

To quote back-in-the-day bad boy tennis brat John McEnroe. At a time when many were put off by the entitled whiteboy, I liked him. Yes, he was a crybaby. Yes, he was an asshole. But when his serve and volley game was on, he was money. If I met him in a bar, I wouldContinue reading “You Cannot Be Serious!”

Give Me More

I cannot get enough videos of dogs riding skateboards and kicking their legs to keep it going. I could watch those all day. How about stories of getting payback to someone who really deserves it? Revenge, especially for the little guy or girl,  against great odds, is the best. And the more despicable the deservingContinue reading “Give Me More”

Canes

Walking sticks, whatever. Now that I am a bona fide cane-carrier on occasion when my leg is sore, I can speak with some knowledge on this subject, unlike most everything else I talk about. I have this cool walking stick with a compass on top. It is trimmed in gold and is actually pretty badass,Continue reading “Canes”

Funny Haha

Where has all the laughter gone? Here I go sounding a thousand years old again, but who is next in the long line of super funnymen or women? Used to be there were a handful of comics that were at the top and then it tapered down. In the 50’s you had George Burns, JackContinue reading “Funny Haha”

Birthday Cakes

I can only remember my early birthdays on faded little reels and browning pictures. Whether I was dressed as Zorro, or atop a pony reciting Shakespeare, the star of the whole show was definitely not me. It was the cake. I think when I was three or four I got this little gay gene goingContinue reading “Birthday Cakes”

Coming Back Strong

It has been raining for two straight days, but today it cleared up beautifully. It sounds easy enough to come back strong after suffering a loss doesn’t it? Try harder. Don’t give up. Don’t include me in the conversation. I have an unhealthy aversion to losing. I honestly don’t know where I picked up thisContinue reading “Coming Back Strong”

The PROS & CONS of having only one leg

I have been an amputee now for twenty months. It sucks. But being the critical thinker I am (mama didn’t raise no cornpone), I have to look at both sides of any equation. I have to consider not only the obvious but the subtle nuances if you will, to provide the full picture. You mayContinue reading “The PROS & CONS of having only one leg”