Who likes waiting in line?
I don’t know why, but I always feel like I lose time waiting in line that I will never get back. Unless you are waiting in line to get into a Guns ‘n Roses concert with Sebastian Bach and Skid Row opening up for them. Then you are guaranteed that at least five girls will be baring their chests for all to see. They will be perched, some precariously, on the shoulders of some clown and even money says they will collapse in a heap before too long.
Waiting in line at the pharmacy reminds me too much of slow death, so I don’t care to do that if able. Waiting in line at concerts is cool, and the same for sporting events.
Think of all the lines you have to join just to get through a college football game.
You get in line to buy tickets for a game sold out long before the game was played. You get in line at the bank to deposit money to cover the exorbitant prices charged for games.
You get in line for gas to go to the concert and you can bet the event is not within 50 miles of your house.
You get in line to park your car at the stadium.
You get in line to enter the stadium.
You get in line to buy food and drinks.
You get in line (several times) to go to the restrooms.
You get in line to get Dots and hot dogs.
You get in line to exit your seat.
You get in line to exit your aisle.
You get in line to exit your section.
You get in line to exit your tier.
You get in line to exit the stadium.
Now you are finally back in your car and you face the LA freeway system and the myriad of lines it produces for you to fall into.
Then you actually do a few lines yourself, and things start speeding up in a very good way.
Except when you are in line at a church.
Then you can’t be harping on people to “speed it up, come on now, let’s move it along,” and things like that.
It doesn’t fly.
I tried it once when I made a mental mistake and thought I was at a bachelor party and not in a Sunday mass service. That is not half as easy as it sounds to do, but I seemed to pull it off.
I prefer straight lines and symmetry to chaos and I am sure it is related to being OCD.
At least I hope so.
I used to think I might be gay because I liked the rolled up napkins to be perpendicular to the placemat, but I was actually OC and just preferred the neatness and order.
So I finally corner the elusive Domestic Despot and I am getting ready to really let her have it. It’s time for me to deliver the old “It’s time to step up your game” speech and let her know it is time for change and time for change NOW!
She told me to get in line.