Closing the Deal

I am winding down our search for a new SUV and it looks like the three finalists are the Toyota Highlander, the Ford Edge, and the Kia Telluride.

Tomorrow we will test drive them and make a decision soon. The sooner we buy, the sooner I can get behind the wheel and drive for the first time in over two years. It’s also the sooner I can drive my butt down to the golf course as I want to get a few more rounds in before the real summer heat starts up.

So the real test tomorrow won’t be the test drive; it will be avoiding getting corralled into one of those tiny rooms with a young numbnuts kid who is cutting his teeth on my purchase with the Sales Manager breathing down his neck. This kid would have a much-better chance negotiating with Karen “Soft Touch” Diaz. All the love in the universe, but my wife is such an easy mark that numbnuts would still make a nice commission.

I don’t play with the sales pikers. I’m the worst; the bungling salesman or woman will be so glad when I leave the little coffin of an office that they will most certainly be ready for a bowl of medical and a triple-pour of Centenario Tequila to chill.

They can thank me later.

So there is still much to do, mainly little cosmetic things to the house to get the highest price. I am so glad we are taking advantage of the housing market, because as we all know: what goes down (interest rates) will come up. The market will eventually stabilize.

It always does.

We also confirmed our reservations for our stay up in the mountains as well as our doggies’ reservations for their week-long stay at Doggy Day Care.

Karen will be a wreck; she really is like a mother to Bruiser and Murphy.

The girl they are staying with is great and we have no worries about leaving them with her.

I do want to do some hiking, kayaking, golf, and just generally goofing off with my best friend in the universe so I’m really looking forward to the trip.

The weather up there is currently in the low 60’s which is really nice mountain weather, but it is the mountains.

No smoking.

Vape only.

And if you have watched as many survival movies as I have, then you certainly know that it is NOT out of the question that we get lost on a dirt road because a tree falls after being struck by lightning, totally crushing our new SUV and pinning me in the vehicle, slicing my good leg in half. That means my life hangs in the firm grasp of my soulmate, who will have to survive 2 nights on the mountain in a hole she dug in the snow from a landslide she survived.

I’m sure she’ll be pissed if her hair gets messed up.

I will have to resort to eating the flesh off my own foot to survive and I will teeter on the brink of death until I hear a chopper somewhere in the distance.

If this happens, it will be a shit vacation.

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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