Ten Minutes

Old people are starting to get to me.

What’s with this ten-minutes-to-do-anything rule? I mean “just a sec,’ “hold on,” “wait a minute,” all these expressions are extended to ten minutes by the more mature people. (old buzzards)

I don’t get it.

But we adjust. I now know to be patient and wait ten minutes for things to play out.

When I hear “hold on a second,” I automatically add 9:59 to the clock.

After 10 minutes, I am not waiting with as much patience and understanding.

Ten minutes is a basic unit of measurement if you think about it.

It takes ten minutes to:

Take a hot shower.

Catch a quick cat-nap in the afternoon.

Have a good wake and bake session.

Watch the commercials in a TV show.

Find your glasses.

Find your keys.

Lock the doors.

Water the front yard.

So make sure you add extra time for the elderly (who is everybody older than me including the Domestic Despot Osama bin KAREN.)

She is 11 months older than I and I still remind her that she “robbed the cradle” when she married me.

I tell her I am from a different generation of “cool” people. Not the stodgy old set-in-the-ways stick-in-the-mud Old Boys Club of HER generation.

She just rolls her eyes and tells me to STFU.

Ten minutes is also approximately the time it takes to bleed out if one of your vital internal organs is punctured.

That’s a pleasant thought on a beautiful 72-degree Monday morning in Arizona.

I am still dealing with my back problem and I had a virtual appointment with a doc this morning. He is prescribing me Gabapentin for my nerve issue in the lower back and left leg. I am NOT getting back surgery! I have yet to meet ONE PERSON who has said “I had back surgery once, and it cleared me up with no further issues.”

That’s because it hasn’t happened.

That sounds like a surgeon’s dream to do a back surgery. They KNOW the patient will be back again. And again. And again.

As soon as this back thing is over, I want to get out and get a few more rounds of golf in before we depart on our next adventure. It’s not getting any colder from this point out and soon, tee-times will be painful right around 10 or 11 am.

Early golf. Problem solved. Looking forward to the courses back east where they have real sand in their sand traps, not the hardpan traps we hit out of here in the desert. You would think living in the middle of a desert, that they might put some sand in the sandtraps.

I don’t know.

Call me crazy.

Starting tomorrow, I will be posting pictures and stories from our recently-completed jaunt over to Mammoth Mountain and over to the Santa Barbara coast.

I will resume Wednesday’s reading from my book EMOTIONS: Not your Mama’s ABC’s!

I am going to spend today getting back on the horse and catching up on what has transpired in the last week. I literally didn’t check the ‘net or answer any texts or calls.

Stay well.