The PROS & CONS of having only one leg

I have been an amputee now for twenty months.

It sucks.

But being the critical thinker I am (mama didn’t raise no cornpone), I have to look at both sides of any equation. I have to consider not only the obvious but the subtle nuances if you will, to provide the full picture.

You may be surprised at the results.

I will start with the CONS:

-I only have one fucking leg: how’s that for starters?

-I was never permitted to say “goodbye” to my lower left leg after they removed it from my beautiful brown body. After twenty months, I think too much time has passed to make that request. Oh really dumbass?

-My leg is always sore. “Phantom pain,” which I previously thought was some made-up bullshit, is real.  And painful. On somedays the pain in my little plastic facsimile of a left foot can keep me down.

-People feel sorry for you.

-People ignore you.

-People forget you.

-You develop other issues while wearing a prosthetic leg. I have been battling a knee pressure sore for over two months and it limits the amount of time I can walk before exacerbating the injury. The only “cure” is to stay completely off the leg, which is tough to do when you move 3000 miles across our beautiful country and try to purchase a home with all the running around those entail.

-I need help sleeping most nights.

-People (genuinely nice people) try to do things for you which you wished they would not, but I do not want to discourage their good intentions. I want to encourage people doing nice things for others.

If ever the world needed more of this type of behaviour, it is now.

-Now I actually have a valid excuse for being a bad golfer. Not that I don’t know my place on the golfer  totem pole—pretty near ground level.

-Can’t realistically golf without a cart anymore.

-My soulmate Karen has to do way too much for me and no matter how hard I try I can’t help but feel emasculated.

-It affects my seating when dining out. It seems like my leg is always protruding out no matter how I sit.

-Drastic change in wardrobe. It is also going to be problematic here more so than in Arizona, because there my wardrobe consisted of shorts, tee-shirts, and a tennis shoe (with ONE sock). I’m not gonna get away with that here in Ohio.

Those are the most obvious detriments, so now let’s look at the PROS:

+I received a badly-needed dose of humility from losing my limb.

+I finally gave Diabetes the respect it demands.

+I am one of the few amputees in the world that actually got better looking (If that was even possible).

+I freak out little kids.

+Believe it or not, I now have a changed mindset about helping others, especially the handicapped.

So what is the score?

If you go numerically, it is CONS 14 PROS 5. But hold everything. I forgot to enter the game changer. It changes the score to PROS 1000 CONS 14.

+I’m alive.

Stay well.