Did I Read That Right?

Did that silly little asshole Putin threaten the United States because we are sending Patriot missile defense systems to Ukraine?

He better shut the fuck up and watch his six.

Ukraine is winning the war without our Patriot missile defense systems.

They are enduring blackouts, genocide, and murder at the hands of a godless Russia.

And they are kicking their asses.

“The minutes following a nuclear blast are vital to your survival.”

No shit.

Wow, I would never have guessed that, Sherlock.

They say that from time of earliest notice that a Russian nuclear missile is imminent, you (we) will have thirty minutes to prepare for its impact.

Get real.

If you are close enough to Ground Zero, tucking your hands under your body to protect them from flying debris won’t stop your hair from cooking your brain or your skin from melting off your bones.

Things will be flying around dangerously alright.

Things like buildings.

Cars.

Glass from every window ripping shards of your flesh.

But if you shut your eyes and lay face-down on the ground, you’ll be just fine.

If Russia is going to send nuclear weapons, they won’t just send one.

And what is to stop that crazy bastard Kim Jong-un from throwing a couple North Korean nuclear weapons into the mix?

Sooner or later…

Knock it off with all the “Trump faces years in prison,” and “Trump my be barred from future elected office” talk.

He won’t serve a day in any jail or prison cell.

No way.

He’s white.

He’s wealthy.

He owns half the country’s minds.

And what in the hell is pansexual?

Since people have lost their minds and can’t figure out just what gender they are, Maddogg has the solution.

Crystalline.

Your gender is determined by the equipment you were born with.

If you disagree, fine.

But you don’t have to bludgeon people over the head with it. You don’t have to wear silly clothes, makeup or do the penis-envy-I-want-to-look-like-a-man look with all the tats and strapped-down breasts look.

Just be a girl who happens to like girls.

What’s wrong with that?

Men, when you use the bathroom, you will always use it the same way until you are an old feeble buzzard and then you can ask if the nurse will “help you out” in your efforts.

Or until you are a bitter, cantankerous old woman; you will probably be OK sitting down, it’s the getting up that you may need help with.

I might not always exercise political correctness, but I kind of miss the days where gay people were quiet about their sexual deviations. (Karen just thumped me on the head).

Fuck the City of Los Angeles for euthanizing a beautiful mountain lion on whose habitat they encroached.

So he ate a few kids.

Safety is indeed a concern for youngsters.

And enough already with all the novellas and commercials in Spanish.

Way too many.

And I should know.

Despite being listed as “Caucasian” on my birth certificate, I’m a Mexican.

As the cold encroaches, give an old blanket to someone who could use it.

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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