I Thought I’d Seen it All

But evidently not.

For those of you who have checked out a few of my blogs and know I have had  (to put it very mildly) a pretty harrowing couple of months since leaving Arizona.

Massive heart attack. Trouble closing on our house. Caring for our two Cocker Spaniels Bruiser and Murphy whilst staying at the Hyatt.

Well there seemed to be a litany of consecutive occurrences with negative vibes so the next thing I hear is the Domestic Despot Osama bin KAREN and she is practicing chants in preparation of “smudging” our new house.

I asked what the hell is smudging and she starts spouting off the “hippie aspects” of the ceremony and finally hooked me with the use of drugs (although I think she inserted them just to ensure my willing participation).

She lights up this StenchStick of sage, herbs, weeds, willows and what-nots and is walking around in some whacky-ass pattern that supposedly the ancient Mayans or some other lost civilization did in their ceremonies.

I mean I am thinking this is some total bullshit.

And this stuff smells like they never bothered to take off the crusted cowshit before setting it on fire. And get this: she is walking around stinking up the entire house and garage and the next thing she wants to smudge ME.

I drew the line and let her know how absolutely stupid an idea that was, so she backed off, but I could tell she was disappointed in my response. I mean it was subtle, but after thirty-six years together (I think) I could definitely tell she was hurt that I was refuting her beliefs (or more appropriately hopes), so being the total pussy that I am when it comes to caving into my wife’s wishes, I acquiesced and stood there with my arms extended while she chanted and stunk me up real good. I at least go to return the favor and I made sure she was equally stinky when I was done.

The things we do for love.

So now that we are all smudged out and we performed the smudging ceremony in some conjunction with the vernal equinox, I not only prepare for, but I expect to have good things happen and happy vibes fill our little house as we enter this next phase of our lives.

I did get to fire up a bowl of OG Kush as part of the ceremony and I have always been able to drop several layers of meditation rather quickly, so all good in this neighborhood.

I also found the chants to be very eloquent in some cases and not all that far removed from the lyrics of a Megadeth song.

I am posting a few pictures of places I like to go to meditate and seek balance with my surroundings. I am able to totally eliminate any man-made sounds from nature’s audio track and I owe that to a Japanese papa-san and that is a blog for another day.

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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