It’s a Dog’s Life

I believe in reincarnation and different spheres of existence. In this life, it wasn’t in God’s Plan for Karen and I to have children. But when I come back, I wanna come back as one of my dogs.

Talk about having it made.

We have spoiled dogs.

Not just any ordinary dogs.

Our dogs.

These are the actual names on the AKC papers for the “kids” we have raised and I couldn’t imagine life without pets.

Rambo Corleone McDuff Diaz—buff English Cocker Spaniel

Tiffany Corleone O’Malley McDuff Diaz—parti English Cocker Spaniel

Clancy Corleone Merriweather McDuff Diaz—Brittany Spaniel

Michael Corleone O’Shaughnessy McDuff Diaz—Black English Cocker Spaniel

Santino Corleone O’Houlihan McDuff Diaz—white Toy Poodle

Bruiser Corleone O’Halloran McDuff Diaz—white/buff English Cocker Spaniel

Murphy Corleone O’Callahan McDuff Diaz—buff English Cocker Spaniel

I know I would have been a good father, and believe me when I tell you, it was not for a lack of trying. If you can envision a cruel God, one might think that not allowing me to reproduce when I wanted to was the ultimate payback for being so indiscriminate with my essence in the world’s biggest whorehouse—Las Vegas, Nevada.

I prefer not to think that.

But maybe…

I know people are crazy as hell when it comes to anything that could possibly adversely affect their own children, and I totally get it, because I am the same way about my two current unpaid assistants Bruiser and Murphy.

The joy they give by their loyal actions and unconditional love. Seriously dude, they light up my life.

The contractor finally came by to finish off our second bathroom remodel and it was worth every penny. The supply chain thing is still affecting start and completion times, and I am researching Jacuzzis for my backyard as I have decided against an inground pool which only gets (at most) four months of use. I’ll use the Jacuzzi every day.

Karen hasn’t bought canned dog food in almost a decade. She makes the boys’ chow with a mixture of ground turkey, oatmeal, carrots, and green beans. They seem to love it and they are both in great shape, so…

My doggy shorts arrived today. One is a pair with little Dachshunds on them, and the other have dog footprints of various sizes and colors.

My new stage outfit.


I lost my open mic gig because they just couldn’t generate any crowds with no money for advertising. I pretty much saw it coming, because last week the manager had to go out of pocket to pay me.

I am going to go check out one of the local courses tomorrow or Sunday afternoon, just to get a lay of the land. Maybe hit a bucket, leg willing.

Scratch that.

The leg is ALWAYS willing, it’s just that sometimes it’s not able.

I went by today to the nursing home where I will be playing next month. I was introduced to several of the residents and I anticipate a small crowd, maybe thirty.

I don’t care.

I waived my entertainment fee and they are in charge of unloading and loading my equipment.

I’m going to treat this gig as if I was playing for the Queen of England herself.

Those nice people deserve it.

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

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