Cue Ball Side Pocket

Can you believe the stones on that hairless dipshit of a manager for Manchester United?

He fired Ronaldo, the greatest striker the world has ever seen.

What has he accomplished in football? So he’s won a few titles.

In Amsterdam.

Big fucking deal.

My beloved Cocker Spaniel Bruiser, who is licking his balls right now thank you very much, has won as many Premier League titles as this idiot.

Ronaldo should finish it out as a starter somewhere, because a Ronaldo at 90% capacity is still far better than 90% of footballers.

Just because Ten Hag does not possess the savvy or people skills to manage a machine like Manchester United. Or Ronaldo.

I give him two seasons.

Tops.

Speaking of hairless dudes, I looked terrible sans cheveux. I was an eerie poster boy for chemo or something cancer-related. Not a good look for Maddogg.

Other bald dudes that come to mind:

That fat wisecracker Telly Savales and his Kojak character. His best role was as a psycho in The Dirty Dozen.

The Rock.

I told Karen that I am the Mexican Rock.

She’s so mean.

Just once when I ask the Domestic Despot something, if she can’t fully hear what I am saying, I want her to not guess stupid-ass, far-from reality guesses.

Just a small situational example: we are watching TV (Netflix and Chill-do they say that anymore?) and there is a picture of a sewing machine.

I ask Karen the very simple, no grey area question, “Does it need a new spool?”

She looks back at me and asks, “Does what need a new school?”

I am glaring now, and is it too much to ask to guess something in the realm of reality, and not something that makes no fucking sense at all? Let’s break it down: the what you are asking about is the picture of the sewing machine taking up the entire giant screen TV we are looking at.

It does NOT need a school. What the hell does a sewing machine learn at school? How to be a good sewing machine? At least guess “tool” or something even remotely possible or applicable to the situation..

It is a sewing machine.

At least have the common sense to ask for clarification before asking something so off base and out of the question.

That’s what I wanted to say.

What came out were the two words that are all you will ever need in your entire lifetime of marriage.

No bullshit.

No, not those two.

“Yes, dear.”

You are welcome. I just saved you from countless hours of aggravation and quarrels. No matter what the situation, no matter how fucking stupid the statement or ridiculous the query, those are the magic words.

Boom!

Maddogg did it again.

The Domestic Despot showed up again and wanted me to know that she has two little words for me.

I am not entirely sure I want to hear them.

Too late.

Oh, that’s cold!

Stay well.

Published by maddogg09

I am an unmotivated genius with an extreme love for anything that moves the emotional needles of our lives.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: