What is a Man?

You are not a man just because you have a penis. Let’s start with the biological, which you can’t do anymore due to the advent of sexual surgery. Besides, the Keeper of the Penis may not identify it as a penis. I will stop here before I either crack up or throw up. Don’t anyoneContinue reading “What is a Man?”

What am I Thankful For?

Let’s start by beating the same old drums like Keith Moon pounded his Ludwigs. Loud. Educators: Pay them. Healthcare workers: Pay them. Stop here for a second. One group ensures there IS a future for us to enjoy, and the other group does their best to prolong our existence here. If those aren’t things weContinue reading “What am I Thankful For?”

Brilliant

A reporter was robbed on live television in Qatar, where the 2022 World Cup is being played. In a most refreshing story, the victim of the crime was asked what punishment should be meted out to her assailant. Wishful thinking. Although the six consecutive life sentences that Darrell Brooks received sent a message, loud andContinue reading “Brilliant”

Check This Out

Some nut job in where else, Oklahoma, ate a last meal which he did not deserve. That’s the story. Not that he admitted remorse for his unforgivable crime of placing a three year-old boy who had just wet the bed, on a scorching furnace, and then raising him high in the air and slamming himContinue reading “Check This Out”

Nicknames

I was sitting here enjoying a 33% THC Sativa strain and I started thinking about all the nicknames I’ve had going back as far as I can remember. The first one in memory is Markitos, which my grandma and mother used to call me when I was young. At the same time, my grandfather hadContinue reading “Nicknames”

God Bless

G.B. Whoever invented the little doggie wheels that allow dogs with inoperable legs to run like the wind and feel like a doggie should; happy, unafraid, and just like all the other doggies. My heart sings when I see people with these animals and believe Maddogg when he says these people have spots reserved forContinue reading “God Bless”

Just to be Clear

Enough with wild animals eating children. This time, an alligator was the guilty party. Once again, I am horrified and piteous of the parents of the eight-year old boy. To see the creature float lazily away downriver with the lifeless (God, tell me he was lifeless) body of their son is the stuff of lifelongContinue reading “Just to be Clear”

Shaking My Head

An entire family of four from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan have gone missing. In a case that could very well have come from a TV crime show, and I would know, I’ve seen a few of ‘em, this is scary shit. The family left home without taking or caring for their pets. They leftContinue reading “Shaking My Head”

Cue Ball Side Pocket

Can you believe the stones on that hairless dipshit of a manager for Manchester United? He fired Ronaldo, the greatest striker the world has ever seen. What has he accomplished in football? So he’s won a few titles. In Amsterdam. Big fucking deal. My beloved Cocker Spaniel Bruiser, who is licking his balls right nowContinue reading “Cue Ball Side Pocket”

Cheaters

I hate cheaters. In anything. I joke about the difference in competitive spirit between my wife and I by saying, “Karen thinks that everyone who merely shows up to an athletic event should get some sort of  “prize,” rewarding them for absolutely nothing.” And me? I will cheat at solitaire to win. It is aContinue reading “Cheaters”