If not for mankind, it certainly was for Maddogg and his golf game.
The day was perfect, an occasional soft wind at about 5 mph and the well-manicured greens were forgiving and I stepped up to the first tee where I promptly crushed it. I then bitch-slapped the ball a couple times and still out 200 yards, I pulled out my five-iron, hoping to get it up to the elevated green. But that pesky little wind was right in my face and I can get my five-iron pretty high, if I screw up and hit the ball well. But I went with my four iron, which will fly under the wind and if I timed my swing just right…
This was my fifth shot (for par, no less).
I promptly hit the ball 192 yards, left with a six-footer straight uphill.
If you’re a golfer, you know the feeling. First instinct is to look around to see if anyone witnessed my miraculous feat of greatness, but alas, even alone, I still felt pretty cocksure as I strolled to my cart to score the bogey.
I ended up draining a few ten footers and another near-miss on a par 3 as my ball lipped out. I’m not good enough to know how to control the spin; I am happy enough if it lands on the green…anywhere.
I had promised to be careful with my leg as sometimes I end up paying the price with valuable recuperative time. So I decided I would stop at nine holes.
I chipped in over a bunker on the ninth hole to cement my round of 51 in the books.
Now 51 for half a round is nothing to blow your dress up, but to me, it was like winning the Master’s. The last ten times I have gone out, my best round was 74… for nine holes.
Even though my partners were patient and polite, my unpredictable balance and pathetic putting done did me in. But on that fifth-shot four-iron, for some reason, I realized a major concept of the game previously undeciphered to me: that if you strike the ball correctly, you are actually hitting DOWN on your ball to get your ball to climb HIGHER.
Boom.
The light went on.
Not to say it was all roses, as I screwed up with a quad bogie on a very easy par 3 and suffered three double-bogeys to go along with five bogeys.
Twenty-one strokes better than my previous best since I lost my leg.
I love golfing because it is such a personal experience, even when you are playing with others. It is YOU, how you hit the ball, and how consistent you are, that makes the golfers who “stand out” from the others.
All nineteen defendants in ex-president Trump’s Georgia case have pleaded “not guilty?”
How can that be?
You don’t go and charge that many people unless you have a solid case, right?
Even if you somehow fucked it up, surely you can get indictments on these traitors?
American justice.
What an oxymoron.
When a beach has been closed for six decades and it is posted that “the area is infested with wildlife including venomous snakes and alligators,” you would best be served by heeding the warnings and stay away.
Fourteen years old and dead from a TikTok challenge eating a spicy chip.
I really hope they stick it to that dumbass Mexican Tarrios who led the failed attempt to overthrow our government. He was standing there, all defiant in his camo and strapped for war. He faces thirty-three years and I think I would be OK if they give him twenty with no parole.
That should do it.
I’ve already reached my boiling point with losers who are defacing thousand-year old treasures in a pathetic grasp at being noticed.
You know what?
You DON’T count. You shouldn’t be on the census, because you don’t operate as one of our world.
I’ll tell you what would work. Give those assholes time to think about it.
Twenty years sounds about right.
Tommy Tuberville, kiss my ass. Once a decent coach, but now a punchline. He thinks he’s still coaching, and by the way, my Cocker Spaniel Murphy Corleone O’Reilly Diaz, who is presently licking his balls, has as many national championships as you do, although I admit, you should have won it after your SEC championship and perfect record of 2004.
But no, they give it to those cheaters USC, which stands for you SUCK cheaters! They also ended up stripping them of the same title for CHEATING. Because they are cheaters, their parents are cheaters, their grandparents were cheaters, their great-grandparents were cheaters, you get the drift…
I hope I am still alive when they start thawing out the cryogenically-preserved whackos.
The world lost a great storyteller when Jimmy Buffet passed. His music is definitely on the Soundtrack of my Life.
Man exhonorated for a rape he did not convict has spent almost five decades behind bars.
I smell a big payday…
Stay well.
