Author Archives: maddogg09

Unrealistic Expectations

The realm in which I exist according to the Domestic Despot. As I told you the other day, I always send an email to Robin Meade asking her to show up at one of my gigs just to see the look on my wife’s face. At that point I would exist in the realm ofContinue reading “Unrealistic Expectations”

Nicknames

I have always used them perhaps as a subliminal memory aid; sometimes I am just too damn smart. I have had my share of nicknames so I am writing the ones I can remember. Keep in mind I have traveled extensively throughout the United States, Japan, Europe, Canada, and Mexico. I also had six differentContinue reading “Nicknames”

But I’m Not the Only One

Twenty-eight days until my gig at the nursing home so I always send an invitation to Robin Meade to come to watch and hopefully, sing, at one of my shows. Karen says I have unrealistic expectations. Just because she hasn’t come yet means absolutely nuthin’ (like WAR!). I wrote about her laugh and how sheContinue reading “But I’m Not the Only One”

It’s a Dog’s Life

I believe in reincarnation and different spheres of existence. In this life, it wasn’t in God’s Plan for Karen and I to have children. But when I come back, I wanna come back as one of my dogs. Talk about having it made. We have spoiled dogs. Not just any ordinary dogs. Our dogs. TheseContinue reading “It’s a Dog’s Life”

Serves You Right

I remember hearing that a lot when I was a kid growing up. Remember those little brush “blades” that we would find on the streets after the street sweepers went through? They served as our first weapon. A cutting tool after you sharpened them against the curbs. When I don’t understand something, I don’t justContinue reading “Serves You Right”

Mr. 500

Not this post. Yesterday’s post was the 500th post I have been credited with making on my blog. That’s like writing a book, which I found to be one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. Since my posts average around 500 words each, I have written 250,000 and I am stillContinue reading “Mr. 500”

4/20

I’ve been smoking weed for fifty years. I never ONCE thought of April 20th as a weed-smoking day. Hell, they are ALL weed-smoking days. Around these parts, 4/20 is the birthday of my soulmate Karen. We will go have a nice Italian dinner tonight and probably hit it early. Old people are SO much fun.Continue reading “4/20”

Kung Fu Boo

In the early seventies, kung fu was big. Bruce Lee had every kid jumping and mewling like felines before pouncing on their prey. Dojo’s popped up everywhere and kids name Kyle and Trevor were all of a sudden badasses. I would learn my own lesson from a kung fu practitioner years later, and I rememberContinue reading “Kung Fu Boo”

Easter Sunday

It has been many moons since the excited early Sunday mornings of Easters past. When you pounced on your mom and dad’s bed before they could get some coffee in their hungover bodies. Because you knew the Easter Bunny had left you a basket of chocolate goodies and it was somewhere in the house. EasterContinue reading “Easter Sunday”