My Favorite Sandwich

When I was training to be a chef in the Las Vegas casinos in the late 70’s I had to perform and master all the stations of a kitchen. My final exam for the boucher (butcher) station was the breakdown of a pig corpse into, well everything edible. Pork rinds to sweetbreads. Now breaking downContinue reading “My Favorite Sandwich”

Weddings

I was sitting here blasting away at some old-school OG Kush and I started thinking about weddings. I have been to very few weddings in my lifetime. In order, I have been to my own wedding, my Goddaughter’s nuptials, and my cousin’s. That’s it. Growing up as a way-too-confirmed bachelor, I was invited to manyContinue reading “Weddings”

The Bike Ride From Hell

I was thirty-two years old and had the body of a coke-fueled alcoholic on the fast track to The End. I had not lifted a weight since I was nineteen years old and I soaked my body nightly in Seagram’s VO, Elephant Beer, and other people’s girlfriends. I was dating my wife-to-be for all ofContinue reading “The Bike Ride From Hell”

Ice

Where would we be if there was no such thing as ice? Warm beer. (But if you know anything at all about beer, that is a good thing). But no cold lager. Them’s fighting words. Ice storms would just be storms and those old ice skates in your closet would never have been made inContinue reading “Ice”

Meat Eater

I am a carnivore and I have already eaten way more meat than I ever should have eaten, but I make no excuses. My father and Grandfather were both butchers and worked in slaughterhouses. I remember being horrified at the sight of the cows being led up the chutes and the man shooting them inContinue reading “Meat Eater”

Stripes

Used to be the only people wearing stripes had done something bad enough to land in prison or those with bad fashion sense. I never got the whole “stripes are slimming” thing. I don’t perceive as anyone being slimmer or fatter unless they are nude of course, but short of that, who gives a shitContinue reading “Stripes”

Home Sweet Home

We executed the contract yesterday and now we can finally rest from the frenetic cross-country Death Ride out from Arizona. We get to pack up all our belongings, unload the Highlander, and let our two loyal furry friends into their big privacy-fenced back yard. I think they are even entertaining the thought of swimming inContinue reading “Home Sweet Home”

Noodles

We call different things noodles: An adolescent kid’s under-developed arms. The human head. Brains. Top Ramen. I grew up eating bowls of them chocked full of God-knows-what. Osoba and Yakisoba were staples growing up in Japan and when I say God-knew-what, only he (or she) knew what found their ways into our bowls. Seriously. VariouslyContinue reading “Noodles”

Ohio

We made it. 4 days and 2000 miles later we pulled into the Buckeye State. Hot, muggy, but shades of green all over the place. The Domestic Despot and I went out on our own today looking at homes out in the country. We found a few possibilities and the realtor will be showing usContinue reading “Ohio”

Salmon

Yummy. And a chef’s dream. It has a mellow flavor, one that takes to almost any treatment or sauce. Nice color for plating. It is actually healthy for you before us chefs start putting our fatty, artery-clogging sauces and butters to it. One of my favorite things to do was to braid strips of differentContinue reading “Salmon”