The Russian head of the Ministry of Oil has “fallen out of a window” (oops!) as have many people who found themselves in disfavor with none other than that little bald lawn gnome Putin. Oh yeah. He left a suicide note. Right. Talk about blowing my mind… France is placing a ban on smoking inContinue reading “Brace Yourself”
Tag Archives: writing
Hold My Beer
Well I guess the question of just how the American MLS (Major League Soccer) stacks up against world-class competition has been answered. Sorry, Sir David. It doesn’t. Not by a long shot. Paris Saint Germain made them look like a high school team. Not even the great magic of Lionel Messi or the power ofContinue reading “Hold My Beer”
Pearls of Wisdom
Some dumbass Egyptian should be thanking his lucky stars because he kicked a police service dog at an airport and all they did was send his stupid ass back to Egypt. Try kicking one of my dogs… The Latino community in Florida who voted for Trump feel “betrayed” by the president’s immigration policy and deportationContinue reading “Pearls of Wisdom”
Rack ‘em Up
If you are having girlfriend problems…. No problem. Just leave. End of story. But DON’T throw her overboard into the ocean knowing that she does not know how to swim. That’s just downright rude. Helen Hunt feels really good about rejecting Hollywood’s beauty standards, but it’s not like she was ever a raging beauty inContinue reading “Rack ‘em Up”
The Way of the World
She wanted to be famous. Now ol’ what’s-her-name from Tempe, Arizona (my old stomping grounds) is pushing up cacti. Dead in her teens. Thanks once again goes to TikTok. In this corner, weighing (according to himself) a svelte 180 pounds of all muscle, is the president of the United States. In this corner, outweighed byContinue reading “The Way of the World”
Come and Get It
Equipment failure. Passenger issues. Pilot error. Kind of makes me glad I don’t fly anywhere anymore. Way too much drama, and before you ask, the answer is “hell no!” if you want me to give up my 1st class seat. For ANY reason, unless you happen to be holding a gun on me. A newContinue reading “Come and Get It”
I Don’t Get It
Eighteen years old and getting ready to attend high school prom. No prom. Shot in the back. Dead. The kids who were with him said that they were just “playing a prank” in an attempt to get some views on TikTok. Oh, I get it. Haha. Details. Yes, by all means, DO sweat the smallContinue reading “I Don’t Get It”
Without Fail
No matter how great you think you are, there is always someone, somewhere out there, who is better. I saw it a lot of it growing up as I started competitive tackle football at age seven. I would have started at age six, but I was caught trying to forge my parents’ signatures on theContinue reading “Without Fail”
Moving Right Along
Here’s big news from the planet’s most brilliant scientists: A volcano near Alaska’s largest city could erupt soon. Or in another 15,000 years. Those dumbasses don’t know and your guess is as good as mine. The girl who was running a race in Lynchburg, TN wound up and cracked a fellow competitor over the head.Continue reading “Moving Right Along”
Enjoy the Ride
A 73 year-old Australian man was pulled over for a routine traffic stop and it was discovered he was still under a suspension that would ban him from driving again for another 92 years. He can drive again when he is 165 years-old. I lost my license briefly after one of the many bouts IContinue reading “Enjoy the Ride”
