Can you believe those stupid-ass Norwegians who decided to euthanize the beautiful walrus named Freya because she supposedly posed a threat to humans? The walrus would occasionally jump on or in a smaller vessel to take a break and sunbathe. She chased the moronic tourists who would not give her enough space, so occasionally sheContinue reading “We Are Something Else”
Category Archives: Short stories
Enough Already
I am sure you already know what I am going to say next… I say enough to these stories that people post on Facebook that show a cat, dumped by the side of the road by some asshole who has forfeited their eternal soul, but are too fucking stupid to even realize it. But theContinue reading “Enough Already”
Help Us Name Our Band
At sixty-eight years young, I have accepted the job as lead singer of a working blues band. Five pieces. Drums. Badass experienced drummer. Rhythm guitar. Bodybuilder and nice guy. I don’t think anyone will want to fuck with our equipment with him onstage. He’s also a really cool dude. The lead guitar player is oneContinue reading “Help Us Name Our Band”
Anticipation
I’m ready as I’ll ever be for my audition tomorrow night. I have the six songs I was sent that the band is using to determine their new lead singer. I have checked out all the videos the band recorded and I even skipped my weekly open mics that I do to practice. I willContinue reading “Anticipation”
Beer
I used to love beer. As a chaser. See, I was hardcore. I didn’t drink alcohol to appreciate the centuries of unparalleled craftsmanship, nor the age-old traditions that spawned legendary concoctions throughout history. I drank to get fucked up. Not to be sociable; I’m already sociable. Not to be funny; I’m already hilarious. I didn’tContinue reading “Beer”
Practice
As I prepare for my Friday audition with a blues band, I have sequestered myself in my office/practice room. It has been awhile since I actually fronted a band, and at least it is not a high-energy rock and roll quintet (with me), but they do have a couple lively blues jams. We’ll see. SpeakingContinue reading “Practice”
Enough
Here are some pictures displaying my optimism for the opening match for my Manchester United Reds. You will see a considerable “before and after” effect. I don’t like the new manager (Erik (“cue ball, side pocket”) Ten Hag. I think he is arrogant and reminds me of past United managers that just didn’t fit withContinue reading “Enough”
The Lebanon Blues Festival
We braved the ominous black clouds that were hovering all day, and were rewarded with some kickass music from a great assortment of musicians including long-time sidekick to Muddy Waters, headliner Bob Margolin. Piano man Ben Levin boogie-woogied, and flat out tore the top off the valley with his electric fingers. Diminutive guitar blues wizardContinue reading “The Lebanon Blues Festival”
Matrimony
Finally. A subject that, after thirty-five years, I can speak of with a modicum of experience. As I have stated previously, I was the absolute last person on earth who would ever even consider the idea of matrimony. No way. Not for me. Love ‘em and leave ‘em. Although truth be told, it more timesContinue reading “Matrimony”
Skateboarding
I missed skateboarding when it first came out as an activity for kids because I was living in a tiny Japanese village. However, everyone had a bicycle. Even in towns and even larger cities, swarms of bicycles. When I returned to the states, we didn’t stay in my birth state of California, we went allContinue reading “Skateboarding”
