A tourist fell into an active volcano when she lost her footing. The initial autopsy ruled she succumbed to her injuries, bleeding out in about twenty minutes. Twenty minutes. Think of that: you have broken your arms and legs which are bleeding and you helplessly slowly bleed out as a toxic cloud floats overhead. AddContinue reading “Ripped From the Headlines”
Category Archives: New Normal
Another Day in the Life
Happy 4th of July. Now you are dead. In your teens. Mass shootings in Indianapolis and Chicago are just a few of the ways we Americans like to celebrate our Day of Independence. Alligator Alcatraz. I understand the logic. Take your chances with the crocodiles and pythons or get your skin bleached, dress up likeContinue reading “Another Day in the Life”
Brace Yourself
The Russian head of the Ministry of Oil has “fallen out of a window” (oops!) as have many people who found themselves in disfavor with none other than that little bald lawn gnome Putin. Oh yeah. He left a suicide note. Right. Talk about blowing my mind… France is placing a ban on smoking inContinue reading “Brace Yourself”
Did That Happen?
A man jumped into the ocean to save his daughter who had fallen overboard. Of course the dumbasses in the press want a story, so they throw around negligence and failure to adequately supervise and protect their child while onboard, but that doesn’t make the father’s actions any less heroic. That takes balls, yes, butContinue reading “Did That Happen?”
Hold My Beer
Well I guess the question of just how the American MLS (Major League Soccer) stacks up against world-class competition has been answered. Sorry, Sir David. It doesn’t. Not by a long shot. Paris Saint Germain made them look like a high school team. Not even the great magic of Lionel Messi or the power ofContinue reading “Hold My Beer”
All Over It
Come and Get It
I saw that episode of Law and Order. I don’t know what the maximum sentence in Colorado is for 191 counts of corpse abuse, and let’s not forget federal fraud charges, but I hope it’s a lot and I hope they give the guilty funeral director the max. The stones on this guy. He throwsContinue reading “Come and Get It”
Pearls of Wisdom
Some dumbass Egyptian should be thanking his lucky stars because he kicked a police service dog at an airport and all they did was send his stupid ass back to Egypt. Try kicking one of my dogs… The Latino community in Florida who voted for Trump feel “betrayed” by the president’s immigration policy and deportationContinue reading “Pearls of Wisdom”
Clear as Mud
Wouldn’t Ya Know?
The story started by saying (in 1874 mind you) a man was convicted for eating his five companions to get through a brutal snowstorm. Come on. Just how long did this snowstorm last? And five? What the hell were the five doing? Waiting around to end up being dinner? Didn’t the others start to wonder?Continue reading “Wouldn’t Ya Know?”
