Serves You Right

I remember hearing that a lot when I was a kid growing up. Remember those little brush “blades” that we would find on the streets after the street sweepers went through? They served as our first weapon. A cutting tool after you sharpened them against the curbs. When I don’t understand something, I don’t justContinue reading “Serves You Right”

Mr. 500

Not this post. Yesterday’s post was the 500th post I have been credited with making on my blog. That’s like writing a book, which I found to be one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. Since my posts average around 500 words each, I have written 250,000 and I am stillContinue reading “Mr. 500”

4/20

I’ve been smoking weed for fifty years. I never ONCE thought of April 20th as a weed-smoking day. Hell, they are ALL weed-smoking days. Around these parts, 4/20 is the birthday of my soulmate Karen. We will go have a nice Italian dinner tonight and probably hit it early. Old people are SO much fun.Continue reading “4/20”

Kung Fu Boo

In the early seventies, kung fu was big. Bruce Lee had every kid jumping and mewling like felines before pouncing on their prey. Dojo’s popped up everywhere and kids name Kyle and Trevor were all of a sudden badasses. I would learn my own lesson from a kung fu practitioner years later, and I rememberContinue reading “Kung Fu Boo”

Easter Sunday

It has been many moons since the excited early Sunday mornings of Easters past. When you pounced on your mom and dad’s bed before they could get some coffee in their hungover bodies. Because you knew the Easter Bunny had left you a basket of chocolate goodies and it was somewhere in the house. EasterContinue reading “Easter Sunday”

Shaking in my Boots

Ooh, I’m so scared. That little bald Russian lawn gnome Putin is making a whole lot of threats to the United States. Is anyone else frightened at the words of a bungling idiot who can’t even take a small country with no resources? If this failed Ukrainian debacle is any indication, perhaps that little dipshitContinue reading “Shaking in my Boots”

You Didn’t Think We’d Notice?

America has been known as a hotbed of invention and forward-thinking. Here’s two more words for you. Greedy and devious. I think those two words say it all. I go to open a box of Coast soap, and the bar that plopped out was about half the size of the original version bought before someContinue reading “You Didn’t Think We’d Notice?”

Tranquilo

Staying calm. Cool under pressure. Not everyone has it 100% of the time. I’m probably in the high eighties if I am really being honest with myself. I had to “beat” a polygraph test in order to land a major casino Executive Chef job in Las Vegas. Answering truthfully all the questions set up toContinue reading “Tranquilo”

Bound and Determined

What the hell kind of expression is that? “Bound and determined”. What? You are tied up, but determined to free yourself? Lame. “Come hell or high water.” Who came up with that? Someone in a flood zone most likely. I still don’t get it. You are going to do something whether you face the firesContinue reading “Bound and Determined”

Patience My Ass…I Want To KILL Something!

You can only last so long with patience. Contrary to what some rare angelic individuals may espouse, patience is NOT an infinite resource. I know my peeps will probably find it very easy to believe that I have a very limited supply of patience. Coupled with Karen’s seemingly infinite supply of patience AND admonitions, itContinue reading “Patience My Ass…I Want To KILL Something!”