Before I became the Sexiest Amputee on Earth, I roamed the countryside with reckless abandon and two legs that very much resembled a Michelangelo statue. My parents raised me right and I have always respected any handicapped person with no sense of sympathy. I was raised to help people in need. People that legitimately neededContinue reading “Thanks But No Thanks”
Category Archives: ugly people
Wasted Energy
How much energy do we waste in the course of a day? I only ask because I am still hearing of people without power in the wake of Hurricane Ida. Hundreds of thousands of people. And how fucked up is it that people died from running their generators without ventilation? I know I waste aContinue reading “Wasted Energy”
Courage
If you are brave, do you have courage? Not necessarily. You can act brave, but not have the courage of your convictions. You can appear brave and not have courage, well you get the picture. I have done things that look courageous but actually scared the living shit out of me. Stupid stuff, mainly onContinue reading “Courage”
Turn the Page
Not only a badass Bob Seger song, but a lesson to us all. Turn the page. How long will the politicians continue their ridiculously antiquated us-against-them infantile horseshit? Republicans’ asses are chafed because Obama kicked their asses and now here comes Joltin’ Joe from Kokomo. Democrats are chafed because Trump outmaneuvered and out campaigned themContinue reading “Turn the Page”
The Friendly Skies
Where did they go? People are going absolutely batshit crazy on planes. If you know me, my solution comes in one word. Parachute. I hope they increase the penalties to include mandatory jail time and a felony on the record. The Domestic Despot Osama bin Karen and I were just discussing this same subject notContinue reading “The Friendly Skies”
Ship Ahoy
You know, I always thought of the pirate as a romantic figure. Sailing across the open seas, obviously privy to some of the most beautiful sunsets known to man. However, it is hard to imagine one pirate playfully nudging a shipmate and commenting on how beautiful the sunset was and how its colors simply dancedContinue reading “Ship Ahoy”
Mice
Reposted from June 3: I talk about the craziest shit, don’t I? I kid you not. The dirty disease-laden rodents scare the hell out of me. I don’t care how small the little bastards are, I don’t want to touch them. I have been fortunate not to have had to grown up with mice runningContinue reading “Mice”
Making Magic
I was a good chef. Scratch that; I was a very good chef. Like all good chefs, I had my faults. I drank too much. I worked too hard. I ate the worst foods at the worst times. I had a short temper. I was tough on my staff. Although my talent and accumulated skillContinue reading “Making Magic”
The Whole Truth
There is only one. Sometimes we are treated to different interpretations of veracity, but just like Highlander there can be only one. There is the Republican truth. There is the Democrat truth. There is the (insert country here) truth, but really, the only truth that matters is the one you believe in. So how doContinue reading “The Whole Truth”
Going Back to Work
Not me. I’m retired. So is Karen, so there are two less applicants to deal with. Actually, as the vaccination rate climbs, albeit slowly, “Now Hiring” signs are everywhere. The problem is nobody is applying for the jobs. Least not the individuals who are taking advantage of the system to NOT have to go backContinue reading “Going Back to Work”
