Happy 4th of July. Now you are dead. In your teens. Mass shootings in Indianapolis and Chicago are just a few of the ways we Americans like to celebrate our Day of Independence. Alligator Alcatraz. I understand the logic. Take your chances with the crocodiles and pythons or get your skin bleached, dress up likeContinue reading “Another Day in the Life”
Category Archives: ugly people
Brace Yourself
The Russian head of the Ministry of Oil has “fallen out of a window” (oops!) as have many people who found themselves in disfavor with none other than that little bald lawn gnome Putin. Oh yeah. He left a suicide note. Right. Talk about blowing my mind… France is placing a ban on smoking inContinue reading “Brace Yourself”
Did That Happen?
A man jumped into the ocean to save his daughter who had fallen overboard. Of course the dumbasses in the press want a story, so they throw around negligence and failure to adequately supervise and protect their child while onboard, but that doesn’t make the father’s actions any less heroic. That takes balls, yes, butContinue reading “Did That Happen?”
Hold My Beer
Well I guess the question of just how the American MLS (Major League Soccer) stacks up against world-class competition has been answered. Sorry, Sir David. It doesn’t. Not by a long shot. Paris Saint Germain made them look like a high school team. Not even the great magic of Lionel Messi or the power ofContinue reading “Hold My Beer”
Come and Get It
I saw that episode of Law and Order. I don’t know what the maximum sentence in Colorado is for 191 counts of corpse abuse, and let’s not forget federal fraud charges, but I hope it’s a lot and I hope they give the guilty funeral director the max. The stones on this guy. He throwsContinue reading “Come and Get It”
Clear as Mud
Wouldn’t Ya Know?
The story started by saying (in 1874 mind you) a man was convicted for eating his five companions to get through a brutal snowstorm. Come on. Just how long did this snowstorm last? And five? What the hell were the five doing? Waiting around to end up being dinner? Didn’t the others start to wonder?Continue reading “Wouldn’t Ya Know?”
No News is Good News
So we have plenty of news. I guess flying under the radar is the fact that we are bombing Iran’s nuclear facilities. Now I understand that kind of frivolity if you are 98 years old and dying by the minute, and you are fine with calling it a day. But for the rest of us,Continue reading “No News is Good News”
The Changing of the Guard
So to speak. Everywhere you look, there are new faces replacing the, er, mature ones. Of course, there are still a few stubborn Union cocktail waitresses working in Vegas. As our sports heroes eventually age out, newer and even better, players are born and raised. In the tennis arena, the newest rivalry (what sport canContinue reading “The Changing of the Guard”
Rack ‘em Up
If you are having girlfriend problems…. No problem. Just leave. End of story. But DON’T throw her overboard into the ocean knowing that she does not know how to swim. That’s just downright rude. Helen Hunt feels really good about rejecting Hollywood’s beauty standards, but it’s not like she was ever a raging beauty inContinue reading “Rack ‘em Up”
