“A green comet will appear in the night sky for the first time in 50,000 years.” Shut up. Talk to me about something that is documentable, because I will come back and tell you that it absolutely, positively, was 43,740 years and they wouldn’t be able say shit. They know about as much about itContinue reading “Much Ado…”
Category Archives: Heroes
Rivals
Our first rival usually shows up as soon as we are old enough to socialize with other kids. Almost always, you can bet that a girl is involved. As we grow older and ascend the educational hierarchy, we form rivals in just about everything: there’s the quiet boy in Chemistry that has a 97 average,Continue reading “Rivals”
The Star Spangled Banner
Just sing the damn song. Don’t “stylize” it. Don’t “interpret it.” Don’t change it. Don’t try to make it yours. It’s not yours. It’s ours. Quit turning the word “brave” into an eight syllable song all its own. It’s one. Sing it like you did in elementary school. It was good enough then, and it’sContinue reading “The Star Spangled Banner”
What is a Man?
You are not a man just because you have a penis. Let’s start with the biological, which you can’t do anymore due to the advent of sexual surgery. Besides, the Keeper of the Penis may not identify it as a penis. I will stop here before I either crack up or throw up. Don’t anyoneContinue reading “What is a Man?”
What am I Thankful For?
Let’s start by beating the same old drums like Keith Moon pounded his Ludwigs. Loud. Educators: Pay them. Healthcare workers: Pay them. Stop here for a second. One group ensures there IS a future for us to enjoy, and the other group does their best to prolong our existence here. If those aren’t things weContinue reading “What am I Thankful For?”
Brilliant
A reporter was robbed on live television in Qatar, where the 2022 World Cup is being played. In a most refreshing story, the victim of the crime was asked what punishment should be meted out to her assailant. Wishful thinking. Although the six consecutive life sentences that Darrell Brooks received sent a message, loud andContinue reading “Brilliant”
Check This Out
Some nut job in where else, Oklahoma, ate a last meal which he did not deserve. That’s the story. Not that he admitted remorse for his unforgivable crime of placing a three year-old boy who had just wet the bed, on a scorching furnace, and then raising him high in the air and slamming himContinue reading “Check This Out”
Nicknames
I was sitting here enjoying a 33% THC Sativa strain and I started thinking about all the nicknames I’ve had going back as far as I can remember. The first one in memory is Markitos, which my grandma and mother used to call me when I was young. At the same time, my grandfather hadContinue reading “Nicknames”
God Bless
G.B. Whoever invented the little doggie wheels that allow dogs with inoperable legs to run like the wind and feel like a doggie should; happy, unafraid, and just like all the other doggies. My heart sings when I see people with these animals and believe Maddogg when he says these people have spots reserved forContinue reading “God Bless”
Just to be Clear
Enough with wild animals eating children. This time, an alligator was the guilty party. Once again, I am horrified and piteous of the parents of the eight-year old boy. To see the creature float lazily away downriver with the lifeless (God, tell me he was lifeless) body of their son is the stuff of lifelongContinue reading “Just to be Clear”
