So You’re Telling Me There’s a Chance…

It is a rainy day in southern Ohio which is one of the reasons it is so green and beautiful once spring and summer hit and I am practicing for an open mic at a popular Dayton pub tomorrow night. We only get a 30-minute timeslot so here are the songs I plan to play:Continue reading “So You’re Telling Me There’s a Chance…”

Nothing is Possible

Not anymore. Not for everyone. Add Goldie Hawn, once one of the cutest faces in all of celebrityhood (did I just invent another word?) to the list of desperate old buzzards clinging fiercely to their last vestiges of youth with beauty-destroying cosmetic surgery. Artificial cheekbones. Plastic skin pulled tight. Duck lips. Sad. James Blair possessesContinue reading “Nothing is Possible”

Ask the Wizard

It’s about an hour away from the president’s State of the Union address and I am awaiting it with the same anticipation I had when waiting for the next Jerry Lewis movie in the 50’s and 60’s—I couldn’t wait to see what that zany whackenheimer was going to say or do next… {NOTE: since IContinue reading “Ask the Wizard”

Crazy You Should Mention That

The political landscape in this country is a crumbling, unstable vestige of a democracy with entitled, crepe paper-skinned old buzzards aging out and turning senile before the eyes of the world. No wonder the newer generations have such a nihilistic view of the world. I would much rather see suicide rates go through the roofContinue reading “Crazy You Should Mention That”

Loud and Clear

I must have been asleep for that lesson… When the hell did binary come to mean a sexual identity instead of a mathematical term? Evidently members of our military are being forced to endure the movie Melania or face punishment. Wait? What about double jeopardy? Isn’t watching the movie punishment enough? They must have doneContinue reading “Loud and Clear”

Remember?

You would go to a football game and at halftime, you might make it to the concession stand for a few snacks and beers, and when you got back, the marching bands were taking their turns stomping the field? Then halftime was over. Not anymore. Halftime has now been turned into a battleground of politicalContinue reading “Remember?”

Never Surrender

Unless you have to. New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani is endorsing Kathy Hochul’s bid for reelection as Governor. And he’s getting a load of shit for it. Why? Why is he endorsing her or why is he catching hell for it? He’s endorsing her because she has shown a willingness to work together withContinue reading “Never Surrender”

Wake Me When It’s Over

Los Angeles, the City of Angels, is the site of the latest group of anti-ICE protesters jumping up and getting froggy with Kristi Noem’s gang. My money is on ICE. They have guns, have shown that they will not hesitate to use them, and if they err, it ill be on the side of stomp-your-face-first-ask-questions-laterContinue reading “Wake Me When It’s Over”

Royal Misconceptions

Even my buddies the British don’t believe in any of the old royal concepts as they relate to the human condition in the 21st century. Not anymore. They have cell phones. Ordained? By whom? A God that nobody can agree on? And while all the attention has been focused on our horny old president, theContinue reading “Royal Misconceptions”

Age is Just a Number

One of the Dumbass Doctors—Phil or Oz (I can’t remember which) has posited that with the age expectancy climbing, the first person who will reach 200 years of age in their lifetime has already been born. Can you friggin’ even imagine being two-hundred? If you are young, of course not. Hell, you probably can’t evenContinue reading “Age is Just a Number”