I took a day off today and did absolutely nothing except check out the nursing home where my last scheduled show is on Wednesday. Traffic is thick everywhere. That goofy Marjorie Taylor Greene is declaring war on Walmart for selling sex toys. Like she doesn’t have a secret drawer full of crazy sexual shit somewhere.Continue reading “I Like Life”
Category Archives: crime
Now Let Me Get This Straight…
A couple, whose adopted daughter died mysteriously either before Halloween if you believe the father, or as late as Sept. 10th if you believe the mother, neither of which is believable and both of which are out of their fucking minds, kept their dead little girl in a U-Haul trailer and crossed state lines withContinue reading “Now Let Me Get This Straight…”
Richie Havens Was Right
What on Earth possessed an American citizen from the third-world country of Michigan to a) go to Saudi Arabia, and b) trust strangers to deliver threatening words of the government to? Dumbass. Those strangers were none other than police just waiting for a) an American dumbass, and 2) a chance to fuck with the MostContinue reading “Richie Havens Was Right”
Legendary
Way overused. There are several strata to negotiate before the word legendary can be bandied about. Start by being good. If you are not at least good, it’s over. You are done before you start. Then you stand out because you are better than the other participants. Time is the other element you must master.Continue reading “Legendary”
What is a Man?
You are not a man just because you have a penis. Let’s start with the biological, which you can’t do anymore due to the advent of sexual surgery. Besides, the Keeper of the Penis may not identify it as a penis. I will stop here before I either crack up or throw up. Don’t anyoneContinue reading “What is a Man?”
The Envelope Please…
The award for luckiest dumbass of the millennium has to go to the knucklehead who “fell” from the Carnival Cruise Line ship into the Gulf of Mexico. He spent fifteen hours in the warm, shark infested waters before being found and rescued. The motive is still under question, as a spokesperson for the cruise linesContinue reading “The Envelope Please…”
They Did it Again
So some chefs are starting to use marijuana products in their dishes. Took long enough. And they wonder why the clientele is very happy, talkative, and have that unmistakable glow you get when you ingest a decent amount of THC. Don’t you notice how being stoned enhances your senses anyway? The depth of the platesContinue reading “They Did it Again”
Check This Out
Some nut job in where else, Oklahoma, ate a last meal which he did not deserve. That’s the story. Not that he admitted remorse for his unforgivable crime of placing a three year-old boy who had just wet the bed, on a scorching furnace, and then raising him high in the air and slamming himContinue reading “Check This Out”
God Bless
G.B. Whoever invented the little doggie wheels that allow dogs with inoperable legs to run like the wind and feel like a doggie should; happy, unafraid, and just like all the other doggies. My heart sings when I see people with these animals and believe Maddogg when he says these people have spots reserved forContinue reading “God Bless”
Smarty Pants
I’ve always been too damn smart for my own good. I admit it. Not proud of it, either. As soon as I was able to enunciate, my big brother would have me read aloud every single word of the “Acknowledgements” of one of his high-school level books, even the word “Acknowledgements.” Then he would makeContinue reading “Smarty Pants”
