Monkey Business

I like Charles Barkley. At 6’ 6” I used to marvel at how much space he could clear out in the paint as he swiped yet another rebound off the glass. Over taller and (much) taller players. He’s also a little bit of a clown, but I’m good with that; the world needs colorful peopleContinue reading “Monkey Business”

I’ll Bite

I know my paltry few hundred subscribers don’t seem like many until you get in a line that long for anything, but U.S. Representative Nancy Mace from South Carolina just came out the very next day after my blog proposing the same “one strike and you’re out” penalty as China has for raping a youngContinue reading “I’ll Bite”

Come Again?

I think about five or six days ago I posted a warning about how the use of cyberwarfare might be part of Iran’s battle plans and now they are screwing around with our missile defense systems. Even an old piker like me knows that can’t be real good. I’ve heard that life imitates art andContinue reading “Come Again?”

Pot Meet Kettle

The Daily Mail reports that little bald dumbass lawn gnome Vladimir Putin has gone on record as saying the recent killing of Ayatollah Khamenei is a “cynical violation of morality and international law.” STFU. Like you are any better ex-KGB thug and murderous bastard. Spain isn’t allowing old Poopypants Trump to use its bases inContinue reading “Pot Meet Kettle”

So You’re Telling Me There’s a Chance…

It is a rainy day in southern Ohio which is one of the reasons it is so green and beautiful once spring and summer hit and I am practicing for an open mic at a popular Dayton pub tomorrow night. We only get a 30-minute timeslot so here are the songs I plan to play:Continue reading “So You’re Telling Me There’s a Chance…”

Nothing is Possible

Not anymore. Not for everyone. Add Goldie Hawn, once one of the cutest faces in all of celebrityhood (did I just invent another word?) to the list of desperate old buzzards clinging fiercely to their last vestiges of youth with beauty-destroying cosmetic surgery. Artificial cheekbones. Plastic skin pulled tight. Duck lips. Sad. James Blair possessesContinue reading “Nothing is Possible”

Crazy You Should Mention That

The political landscape in this country is a crumbling, unstable vestige of a democracy with entitled, crepe paper-skinned old buzzards aging out and turning senile before the eyes of the world. No wonder the newer generations have such a nihilistic view of the world. I would much rather see suicide rates go through the roofContinue reading “Crazy You Should Mention That”

Never Surrender

Unless you have to. New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani is endorsing Kathy Hochul’s bid for reelection as Governor. And he’s getting a load of shit for it. Why? Why is he endorsing her or why is he catching hell for it? He’s endorsing her because she has shown a willingness to work together withContinue reading “Never Surrender”

Royal Misconceptions

Even my buddies the British don’t believe in any of the old royal concepts as they relate to the human condition in the 21st century. Not anymore. They have cell phones. Ordained? By whom? A God that nobody can agree on? And while all the attention has been focused on our horny old president, theContinue reading “Royal Misconceptions”

Age is Just a Number

One of the Dumbass Doctors—Phil or Oz (I can’t remember which) has posited that with the age expectancy climbing, the first person who will reach 200 years of age in their lifetime has already been born. Can you friggin’ even imagine being two-hundred? If you are young, of course not. Hell, you probably can’t evenContinue reading “Age is Just a Number”